I think when ever the year is coming to an end everyone looks back on the year they are about to leave behind and think about what the year gave them or may have taken from them. Sometimes you look back and think "thank god I'm leaving all that behind me" and other times its more of a "what am I going to do with my life in the new year" kind of moment. Well I had both. Its definitely been a struggle the past year but I honestly don't like to dwell on the past, thats just not who I am. I like to smile and leave negativity out of my life. I've changed over the years, learning how to stress less (though the past year wasn't that easy) and learn that if you stay positive that more times than none your outcome may be positive. I have been going through this back and forth thing with my life since I graduated high school in 2009 and I honestly don't know why I let so much time pass me by without truly pursuing my dream. Wanting to go to college has always been in my mindset but there is always something that happens and makes it seem impossible. My future should come first I know that and yet somehow I always forget. I was so close to it happening and then it just didn't. I plan on changing that. I'm very focused on giving it my all this year because truthfully I love school. Knowledge and learning things and information that I never knew before is exciting to me. I love doing work. I love writing. I love reading and thats what I look forward too. Its crazy to think that right out of high school I started working with no questions asked. People think its just so easy to get back into school and its not. I'm pretty quiet when it comes down to what exactly it is I want to major in because I honestly don't think that my family or friends will truly understand what it means to me. I don't want to just settle for a major that people think will make me wealthy because in the end of it all I don't want a job just for the money I want to actually love what I do. If you aren't in love with what you wake up for every morning than what's the point in getting up for it am I right? I just know that there are goals that I have set for myself and want to fulfill them for me, not anyone else. Although this month has truly set me back health wise. My goal in all was to begin a healthier lifestyle. I realize it seems like the typical new years resolution but its more than that for me. Something about this year just seemed different, I felt as though a lot of changes were going to happen and it just felt right. Well it so happens that my new year didn't start off too well. Last week I spent my days in doctors offices, waiting rooms, and I even ended up in the ER. I have never been so sick or injured that I have had to go to the ER that I can remember and I don't ever want to end up there again. It was a hard week for me and I still have appointments that I need to go too. This really did a number on me emotionally and mentally. I got through it though with my parents, sisters, few friends and few close family members by my side. I still worry but I know that I tend to let my mind wander and it isn't always in the best places. I believe it is a wake up call for me that I need to take better care of myself. I tend to care more for others than myself and its time I change that. I normally don't write posts like this, so personal but I feel that a blog is personal whether your a certain type or not its always good to connect to your readers on a personal level. I hope that out there someone is reading this and feels the same way I do. Maybe your in the same situation or maybe your just down and out and need to know that you are not alone. We all have lives we live but are we really living if we aren't caring for ourselves? We care so much about social media and the lives of others and gossip but we don't take time for ourselves. I learned that in the past 15 days of the new year. I'm only going to be 23 in 2 months and I plan on living a full and long life from here on out. So as of this month of 2014 I plan on writing these type of posts because I hope out there someone is reading this and relating to me. Showing weakness is nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our moments of weakness where we feel so low that we don't know if we're ever going to be able to stand up again. But trust me there will be an invigorating moment in your life where you will know that you can be better than your lowest moments in life.
with lots of love
xoxo, The Social Fashionista
